"Although our holy Jihad against Jews and infidels (may their stomachs roast in hell) is important," said Bin Laden, "even more important is the human tragedy in Burma. The Western nations natter and dither while innocents die because the Great Satan is indifferent to the fate of non-Christians. As Muslims, however, we do not have the luxury of indifference. Allah is a God of mercy and compassion. As his followers, we are compelled to be the instruments of that compassion."
"Many Muslim nations," continued Bin Laden, "are awash in oil wealth. In the name of Allah the all-giving and all-loving, we are obligated to use that wealth to the benefit of Allah's neediest children, no matter where they are, and even though they do not share our beliefs. There is a time for the sword, but there is also a time for the hand of mercy and charity to lift up those in their hour of greatest desperation. The decadent West has failed, and it is up to the world's Muslims to lift up the lamp of Islamic generosity to give hope to those who are now hopeless."
Surprisingly, the terrorist leader and most wanted man in the world has vowed to risk his own life to personally bring aid to the decimated areas of Burma. "Although I am not a prophet with the greatness of Mohammed (peace be upon him), I am still a man," said Al Qaeda's #1, "and my fellow man is crying in sorrow. I, myself, will lead an aid mission into Burma as a visible missionary of succor to this devastated nation, though it may mean having to dodge sniper fire like other emissaries of peace have done before me."
"I can only hope," concluded Bin Laden, "that the rest of the world will follow the Muslim example, set aside their petty squabbles, and do the right thing to save innocent lives."